From March 30, 2019

Love cannot be conditional. Love cannot be purchased. Love cannot be used for our gain, cannot be self-centered.
Love is liberating. Love is self-emptying, is to be given away. Love is only known from within, as an experience that changes everything, even changes bread and wine into the very substance of God. Love is all powerful, all merciful, all compassionate, all forgiving, always giving. The source of love is God the creator and sustainer of everything. Love animates all life. And through love all life is connected.

From March 31, 2019

I posted the following on my now-defunct blog during Advent of 2009, just days before leaving on my first trip to Haiti. I was struggling to live the Gospel more fully. I still am. What I wrote nearly ten years ago still sounds like a tough message. I suppose Christianity is an all or nothing venture. A lukewarm follower of Christ does not become a light to the world, does not become the change that changes everything.

From March 29, 2019

Our incapacity to love is rooted in pride and our false notion that everything must have a tangible benefit toward increasing our status and security. “What’s in it for me?” is not a question love asks. Love seeks no remuneration, knows nothing about the market economy, or cost-benefit analysis.

From March 28, 2019

In Haiti, things don’t happen quickly or easily. Everything is a struggle. Billy and I agonize over all things we want to do to better serve our precious children. We know the things we do wrong, the things we want to do better. We see our faults and failures every day…and they trouble us.

From March 24, 2019

After a long sleepless night which gifted me with hours of quiet writing, yesterday was the best day I’ve had in weeks. The cough was mild enough I was able to go out for a few hours to get a long overdue haircut and to buy some pajamas for Bency, Naïve, and Ally. I took two long naps. I tried to take a walk in the late afternoon, but tired quickly. I think the worst is behind me.

From March 27, 2019

My second trip to Haiti came just days after the earthquake. I flew in with a medical team on a private jet. We landed in the middle of an absolute nightmare of twisted, broken bodies. I saw crushed arms and legs being amputated. I saw death and destruction on an unimaginable level. I saw streets littered with corpses. I saw the skeletal remains of a person burned to death. The following reflection was written at the end of that second trip.

From March 26, 2019

Our brokenness is part of human life. There are times we will be unlovable, irritating, incompetent, and inconsistent. But it is OK. We can forgive ourselves for our faults and failures. The key thing to know, understand, and truly believe is that our sins cannot keep us from God. God grace never stops flowing toward us.

From March 23, 2019

My appointment yesterday with the doctor, who was coming in on his day off, was at 10:00am. After another sleepless night of coughing, I was so eager to see the doctor, I pulled into the empty parking lot at 9:30am.

From March 21, 2019

From the time I finished writing yesterday’s Journal until I left for the doctors, I was breathing in steam every thirty minutes…it was the only way I could make it through the long, sleepless night. By the time I was ready to leave for the doctors, I was thoroughly exhausted. I was so tired, I left the apartment wearing my computer glasses.

From March 22, 2019

On Wednesday, Alina, the volunteer nurse from Alaska wrote to say: “The fridge arrived yesterday & we got it all organized. I put all the water bottles in there to fill it up, so that when there is no electricity, like last night, the cold water will help keep things cool until there is power again.”